According to actress Shoki Mmola, who detailed her violent marriage to fellow actor Sello Sebotsane, warning signs existed before the abuse began.
Mmola revealed on the King David Studio podcast that she would often apologise for things she had not done. Mmola claims that growing up, she had everything planned out; she knew she didn’t want children out of wedlock and that whoever she was associated with, she would love them fully. “The lack of a biological family was one of the things that compromised me in that situation,” she recalled.
“I cannot say I was there for love; I was there for structure. I never had a proper family structure, so I wanted that for my kids and future.” The former Skeem Saam actress revealed that she should have left the marriage earlier but opted to stay too long.
Nonetheless, she expressed thankfulness for having done so, claiming that her children had seen everything and did not require any explanation from her. “I stayed long for me, not for the broader picture. There is nothing you can tell the girls that they do not already know; they remember things I cannot recollect. It breaks my heart, but at least they have an understanding.”
Mmola also revealed that she had to go to therapy with her nanny and children, and that she allows her children to reopen old traumas. She believes that her nanny, who witnessed a lot, spared her life the night she fled.
Mmola and Sebotsane had not communicated in weeks before the night of the incident, and when she returned home, she called her mother to inform her that she was not feeling good and that she suspected something terrible would happen.
Saved by her children
“Around 1am, I was working and he asked to speak to me. I think he had been drinking, and when I said not now, he broke the glass and said we would speak now.
“As big as he was, he sat on my lap, choked, and punched me. That night, I felt nothing; it was as if he was not beating me up enough. When he was beating me up, I told him to hit me harder.”
Her children rushed into the room and begged him to leave her alone as she was being beaten. After escaping inside one of the rooms, she contacted her nanny, who was staying in the room outside, to report the incident. “I told her to call the police, and they immediately came because I had gone there several times to report him for other stuff, when he would hit me or vandalise the house.”